Weddings can be a nightmare. They are the ultimate social occasion and celebration of relationships. For those on the autistic spectrum, combining a social occasion and relationships can be a mixture fraught with difficulties.
When I was younger I was always some distant relative invited to weddings. I spent most of the day hiding behind my dad. I didn't know who the people were and what I was meant to be doing. By late into the evening I became brave enough to watch the other children slide across the dance floor on their knees. People would come up to me and remark how I had grown and, almost surprised that I wasn't able to fluently chat to an adult I didn't recognise, then say, "oh is she shy?"
As you get older you start to be invited to weddings in your own right. This is slightly better. You are normally closer to the bride or groom and want to see them happy. There will, however, be plenty of people you don't know. Even the bride and groom don't always know everyone at their wedding. A long lost cousin or someone's plus one might never have met the bride, groom or even both. The couple want you to mingle and get to know people. If you do find a comfort zone you won't be there for long.
My wedding was my favourite as I knew everyone and there wasn't a break in the agenda. I kept the activities coming so as not to leave a moment of boredom or social awkwardness. Quiz questions as favours during dinner and a boat ride between evening and daytime. Even then, when I was doing endless photos, I am sure socially awkward guests were huddled in a corner using platitudes such as, "wasn't it a nice service?"
Weddings can be noisy rooms full of strangers and social rules. The good thing is that they are often formal occasions. This can be helpful. To know the dress code, what gift is expected, the order of events and how to behave is very helpful and weddings provide this in bucket loads. Those tiny little buckets that favours come in but buckets never-the-less. When people start using the term 'smart casual' or 'all we request is your presence at our wedding' then things get trickier. Do they mean smart or casual and do they want a gift or not?
The most difficult part of an invitation is if you are invited to the evening do only. This means that you are only a distant friend or relative or even worse a work colleague. By the time you arrive you have no chance. You have missed out on the narrative of the day and haven't a clue who anybody is and how they got so drunk. You have no choice other than to dance wildly to the music from "Dave's Mobile Disco" or go and cry in the toilets. You may also risk asking the mother of the bride how she knows the happy couple.
My advice would be to find a friend or couple early on and stick with them. My other brilliant trick is to take lots of pictures. The bride will love you for taking a picture her photographer and videographer didn't capture and you will be able to hide behind your camera.
Say cheese!